I dislike the smell of Babel in the morning, Part II: *Poof*

So I have a friend, M____. A serious blogger. Had two blogs, updated at least daily. Used his blogs as places to articulate what was going through his head. Sometimes it was joy; sometimes it was frustration: with family, with themself, with their experiences as a member of a church. Sometimes it was both joy and frustration.

Joystration, as it were.

I check out his blogs, because he's a friend, and I find it helpful to have an idea of what's going through his head. The same reason I started checking out blogs in the first place: I couldn't afford not to know what was really going through my teenagers' heads, and livejournal was where they were talking.

So Monday, I see that he's closed up shop at his blog. This doesn't surprise me much, because I thought it coincided with a trip he might possibly be taking. Then I check his other blog, and he's checked out of there, too.

With a finality that I found disturbing.

No explanation: it felt like the kind of thing someone would write just before killing themselves, or something. I went to find him, because it was final enough, and out of the ordinary enough, that I thought something might be wrong.

Turns out, he'd had a conversation in which the thoughts expressed in his blog were interpreted as disrespect, personal attack, and attack of a ministry.

The conversation was with his pastor.

As I thought through M____'s account of the conversation, I thought of Colossians 4:6: Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. I know M____, and I know that what he wrote was not written with the above mentioned motives in mind. But could he have articulated with more grace? Yes. Could he have seasoned it a little, took some of the edge off? Yes. Should he have worked toward that? Well, according to the above verse, God's pretty clear about the answer to that.

And I hope he will work toward that, because he had some worthwhile things to say. The perspective of anyone is worthwhile, especially one who's trying to follow the way of Christ, however that looks at a particular moment. How can someone move forward if they don't know where they are? How can a brother in Christ help another brother if he isn't talking, at least attempting to articulate what he's going through?

Which leads me to M____'s response to the conversation. He decided that, at least for the time being, if his blog was going to be used against him, he wasn't blogging. Given what happened, the response is at least understandable.

But does that help?

I was reminded of another verse: Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. (Ephesians 4:25) If a person is hiding the truth of his life and his heart, is that lying? If a person is hiding the truth of his life and his heart because of our potential backlash, are we facilitating his life becoming a lie?

How many Christians are living life with a shiny veneer that is lying on the top of some real pain, some real questions, some real...who knows what?, because they don't know - or they're pretty sure they do know - what kind of response they'll get?

Shouldn't we balance our desire for salt-seasoned conversation with the realization that sometimes, people are going to say things in ways that we don't understand? Shouldn't we allow those people to speak truth, and help them from there? If we react in ways that discourage further dialogue, aren't we part of their refusal to put away lying?

One thing I do know: if we don't let them talk, they will stop talking.